I don't know.
I don't know if I should cry when I hear 'I Want to Spend My Lifetime Loving You' again on my computer.
I remember I loved that song when I was five, I watched Zorro over and over and over and over again just to hear the song.
And when I heard it on the radio, I would be ready to start crying.
I don't actually know why, but I have this strong liking for ballads especially from soundtracks of movies.
I'm going off point.
I don't know if I want to write anymore. I'm ashamed of that story I wrote last year, the Tara one. I hate it, I hate the title because it's so unoriginal, I hate everything about it.
I've got all these ideas, so many, so many ... but I can't put them down. Once I type them out, everything goes wrong. What colour should her hair be? Should she be shy or plain bitchy?
Are these even the questions I should be asking myself when I'm writing? Shouldn't I be asking, Why am I writing? Who am I writing for? WHAT am I writing?
I really don't know. I want to be proud of what I'm writing. I'm so happy with my stories when I'm halfway through them, then when I finally finish them, I want to cry because I can't believe what I'm writing. There's no meaning most of it. I try to throw in the grief the person feels, the joy she experiences, the beauty she appreciates. But ...
Maybe I try too hard.